The elephant in the room…

Every now and again a marvel happens.

Something that defies the laws of nature and wows the onlooking crowd.

That happened the weekend just gone at a social club in Preston.

Gather round as I tell the tale of how a cheesy list, pure luck, my lucky dice and 5 opponents really bad dice resulted in me having the privilege of a plastic skull with glowing eyes sat on my bookshelf for the next 12 months!

The list

I’ll start with my list as there were numerous scurrilous accusations that I was actually playing with 2,000 points!

Chaos Lord [bike, power fist, sigil of corruption, burning brand of skalathrax, gift of mutation, mark of nurgle] 195

10 Cultists [mark of nurgle] 70

5 Plague Marines [2 melta guns, Rhino – havoc launcher] 187

5 Spawn [mark of nurgle] 180

3 Obliterators [mark of nurgle] 228

Maulerfiend [tendrils] 135

Chaos Predator [heavy bolter sponsons] 95

Daemon Prince (from Daemons book) [flight, armour, mark of nurgle, level 3 psyker] 295

10 Plaguebearers 90

Soulgrinder [phlegm, mark of nurgle] 180

Total: 1,650 (yes really…)

So that was my cheesy list for the weekend.

I was actually just looking forward to playing as the last time I played was at a campaign weekend in Cardiff and my last opponent was a C U Next Tuesday so to be able to play again and know I was going to play 5 decent guys (actually ended up with 4 decent guys plus Mike ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) was something I had been looking forward to for a while.

Game 1 vs Iain (Khorne)

There was some chatter the night before about lists and the consensus was that Iains list looked pretty solid so I figured, not really knowing Chaos and all that, to play quite cautiously.

It was 6 objectives with dawn of war deployment and I kept the bulk of my army grouped together just to the right side of centre. A bit reactionary but I wanted space to manoeuvre if things got a little hot. Iain split his force with the fast stuff including his lord and spawn on my right and the maulerfiend, forgeworld death spider killer thing, chosen and some grunts on my left.

With the first turn I shuffled forward a little, staying in cover and decided to use my extensive (comparatively) long range shooting to whittle the boys in red down a bit. I pushed the plague marines rhino to the front as a little worm to tempt Iains spawn to into an early charge. My shooting went into the havocs and killed all but one and I chipped a wound or two off the spawn.

Iains spawn took the bait of the rhino and charged in, getting Iain first blood but crucially arriving before the maulerfiend and death spider killer thing could get around and support them. End result was I was able to put my prince, spawn and soul grinder into the spawn killing them which meant the bulk of my good stuff was then free to pick on Iains more scattered units without fear of being nobbled.

We had a good maulerfiend on maulerfiend bit of action which was a bit handbags but in the end I had the edge and managed to draw the death spider killer thing into multi melta range by sacrificing my predator but by then it was all over bar the shouting and I got a convincing win.

Game 2 vs Gary (Slaanesh)

I was fully expecting to get trounced in this game. All joking about lists aside I know my list was tough but it was my 3rd game with it whilst Gary has played Slaanesh for ages and is a very good player. I didn’t have high hopes and was being baited by 2 wolfy looking spawn which were causing the beast within to stir!

I basically resolved to put my former Space Wolf charges out of their misery and would have taken that as a moral victory!

The mission was using the maelstrom cards which I think I quite like. I know they can make the game a bit wonky (my daemon prince spend 3 turns sat on an objective within 12″ of my table edge to net me 3 points when normally he would have been supporting my hitty units.

I was quite surprised by how aggressively Gary moved in his first turn or two, pushing a lot of stuff forward and inviting the charge. I knew his spawn would go before mine and it could be a dice off for attacks and seeing which spawn got what but with T6 I was reasonably confident I would win out even with the Slaanesh spawn striking first. I was confident enough that actually my lord, who was now T8 thanks to the event specific rules, was going to multi charge the maulerfiend to tie it up and prevent it counter charging me if the plague marines and obliterators couldn’t kill it.

As it happened the plague marines managed to get some lucky dice and blow it up with a long range melta hit which freed up the obliterators to fire assault cannons into the spawn softening them up before the charge. That and having my lord free to go into the spawn as well meant they folded quickly leaving my lord and spawn free to push on into Gary’s firebase of a predator and vindicator.

Meanwhile my maulerfiend had managed to dodge the stand and shoot melta guns on Gary’s bikes and had charged in, doing not a lot but not taking much damage in return. Eventually I had chipped enough bikers away that by the time the maulerfiend went down to melta bombs and krak grenades Gary didn’t really have any bikers left to support his lord. This meant the spawn and my lord could go in and finish them off although it turns our Nestor was only playacting dead as he is a bit of a pansy and must have got some slime on his pristine armour, causing great upset to him!

The cards probably saved the maulerfiend for an extra turn as Gary’s unit of chaos marines had to go claim an objective instead of running in to add more krak grenades to the fight but hey ho, like I said earlier my daemon prince was fannying around in my deployment zone for 3 turns because of the cards!

As ever it was a great game and I was surprised but pleased to get a win. I think ย if Gary was a little less rusty then he would definitely have beaten me or made it a lot closer result.

Game 3 vs Paul (Nurgle)

Ah, 2 bent cheesy lists facing off against each other, I could hear the eldar quaking in their boots. If I thought I was in trouble against Gary then I knew I was in trouble against the self proclaimed Lord of Nurgle. Pauls been playing nurgle for ages and had, in my opinion, just as tough a list as me.

I don’t remember a whole lot about this game as I was pretty knackered by this time but the mission was bore draw with the relic in the middle and a deployment of hammer and anvil. I had a bit more shooting than Paul so decided not to make an early grab for the objective but to soften him up a little first and then worry about the relic if I was still alive. I didn’t really know how I was going to deal with a Great Unclean One with Iron Arm on it!

Fortunately my shooting was half decent and I could soften his main units up as the came across the table and immobilised his maulerfiend, albeit only after it had chewed through my predator. My spawn and lord got into his spawn and sorcerer and were chewing their way through with the help of my prince casting endurance onto them. My lord was about to cast the killing blow onto Paul’s sorcerer when the GUO waded into the fight and performed a glorious intervention and my lord suddenly found himself in a bit of bother. In the end my prince held the relic and fannied around backing away to the table edge with it while my spawn and lord and soulgrinder killed Paul’s spawn and sorcerer. Unfortunately my lord went down to the GUO but even so at the end of the game all Paul had left was a GUO on one wound.

End of day 1 I had (I think) 58 points from 60 which was more than I was expecting. I was actually pleased because I was making plans for games rather than just sticking stuff down and seeing what happened which I tend to do a lot with my wolves nowadays. Maybe thats because I was using a fresh army, who knows.

Game 4 vs Neil (Khorne)

After a night out on the toon I was up against Neil and his Khorne. I knew if I won this big then I would be quite a way out in front and wouldn’t need much to get over the finishing line. Weighing against that is my tradition of doing well on Saturdays and then doing sweet FA on Sundays and sinking back to midtable obscurity.

The mission was cards on a hammer and anvil deployment which favoured me a little as I could shoot him up and if need be drop back a lot further firing as I went to keep softening him up until my big boys went in for the kill.

I have to say though I was quietly confident about this one as Neil had very little ranged shooting and, due in no small part to having a landraider, his attack units didn’t worry me too much. I was confident I could handle them when they came in albeit they would definitely do quite a lot of damage when that happened.

Things pretty much went to plan and when Neil did get into combat I felt he overextended a little, charging 3 separate units with his lord, his spawn and maulerfiend. It let me melta the maulerfiend to death whilst my spawn and lord took care of his spawn and my prince and soulgrinder eventually took down his lord although my prince bit the dust before that happened. What surprised me was that Neil kept his landraider with chosen and warpsmith in back.

Personally if I was going with plan ‘ATTACK’ I would have shoved the raider forward as well. It would have been a lot tougher dealing with the 3 units plus the chosen. Instead as it was I could handle the lord, spawn and maulerfiend and then deal with the chosen afterwards.

Neither of us got great cards to start with but mine got better whilst Neils didn’t really get any easier to achieve. It also didn’t help that his deepstriking terminators scattered and killed themselves.

In the end it was a big win to me.

Game 5 vs Mike (Tzeentch)

Going into this game I had already won the event so wasn’t really fussed about the result. I still wanted a laugh and a good game though.

The mission was kill points and Mike had about 3 total. He also had a huge unit of thousand son terminators with Ahriman in which concerned me a little as 2+ saves in my experience either go really well and you pass them all or terribly and you fail them all.

In the end I split my army which wasn’t the wisest thing to do and Mike sensibly loaded one flank with his terminators, Ahriman and obliterators. These were reinforced by the vindicator and his forgeworld flier pod skimmer whatever the hell is was.

Mike had first turn but thanks to cover and the mark of nurgle didn’t manage to do a lot of damage. The pod/skimmer/flier deep struck next to my pred and soulgrinder and tried to do some damage with it’s heat ray thingy but didn’t really do a lot. It meant my soulgrinder could charge it and blow it up and then hang around drawing in the terminators. The terminators duly killed the soulginder but in return got hit with 3 plasma cannons when they were bunched up. 3 hits later and half the terminators were dead which meant the spawn, fresh from dealing with the vindicator, and prince could go in and take them out effectively neutralising Mikes army and netting a big win for me.

This was a bit of a mismatch but I don’t feel that bad about it because at the end of the day we all had the same codex to choose from.

The results

Champion of Chaos – Alex West
Chosen of Slaanesh – Gary Marsh
Chosen of Nurgle – Alex West ( Paul this must really hurt…)
Chosen of Tzeench – Micheal Bolton
Chosen of Khorne Neil Gibbons

The first score is your tournament points the second your victory points.
1 Alex West 94 74
2 Gary Marsh 70 50
3 Paul Scott 64 47
4 Neil Gibbons 52 40
5 Rob Kancidrowski 47 34
6 Michael Bolton 46 40
7 Steve Pearce 42 34
8 Aythlan Crooks 34 32
9 Geoff Hamilton 26 24
10 Iain Miller 25 23

So in the end I won by 24 points which was great.

It does feel a bit like the elephant in the room though given everyone else there actually owns a chaos army whilst I borrowed one to play and I’m fairly certain I can feel the daggers in my back from some quarters…

Hey ho, I enjoyed the weekend and it good to catch up with my mates and play some toys. Those opportunities are too few and far between at the moment for my liking so events like this are great for me.

So there we go, my epic tale ofย how a cheesy list, pure luck, my lucky dice and 5 opponents really bad dice resulted in me having the privilege of a plastic skull with glowing eyes sat on my bookshelf for the next 12 months!

Now I’m off to look at chaos models…


3 thoughts on “The elephant in the room…

  1. Nice write up mate and a well deserved win. Whilst we tend to take fluffy lists and go for sacred numbers etc doesn’t detract anything from a good 2 days gaming from you and lifting the trophy at the end. However, I won’t be lending you any more models ๐Ÿ™‚ as it will take ages to get the stink of rot off of my lord! Always a pleasure to have a CSM get together and this type of event just cements our friendship and gives us more stories to recall at the next outing.

  2. Well done pal, a worthy winner and a nicely written report!
    I felt sure you’d fallen into my trap, as I didn’t think you had anything that could one shot my Maulerfiend and I felt sure two Melta bombs would take out your Maulerfiend in combat.
    The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men,
    Gang aft agley,
    An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,
    For promis’d joy!

    I’ll get you next time Gadget!…….and welcome to the dark side ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Nestor Lustheart- CHOSEN OF SLAANESH ๐Ÿ™‚

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